When Irritability Shows Up, It May Be a Sign of Self-Neglect

Written By Allyson Luna

“I am so irritable lately and I don’t know why,” or “For some reason, I keep snapping at everyone lately,” are concerns I hear often in session. When this happens, my first question is usually: “Where have you fallen lately on your own priority list?”

Anger and irritability are often signs of self-neglect—indicators that you’ve slipped to the bottom of your own list. One small request from someone may easily set you off and your automatic thought becomes, “What about ME?”

The truth is this: no one else is going to do a better job of prioritizing you than you.
No one can make you get 7–8 hours of sleep.
No one can move your body for you.
No one can nourish your body or drink water for you.

At the end of the day, it is always our responsibility to take care of ourselves.

Signs You Might Be at the Bottom of Your Priority List

  • Snapping at others

  • Irritability

  • Feeling tense or on edge

  • Feeling stressed

  • Feeling like your anger goes from 1 to 100

  • Feeling annoyed

  • Feeling depressed

  • Feeling anxious

Check In With Yourself

If you’re feeling this way, I encourage you to pause and honestly reflect on how intentionally you’ve been caring for yourself. “Intentionally” is the key word here. When we chronically put everyone else first, irritability becomes the result.

Ways to Recharge Your Battery:

Try choosing at least one thing you can do today:

  • Take a walk while listening to a favorite podcast or some music

  • Take a nap

  • Make yourself a proper meal

  • Read a favorite book

  • Do a hobby or craft you enjoy

  • Make yourself a cup of coffee and drink it while it’s still warm

You might be thinking, “I literally don’t have time for this.”
But here’s the truth: you need to make time, or the cycle will continue—snapping at others, feeling guilty, feeling sad… rinse and repeat.

Final Thought

Never feel guilty for taking care of yourself. When you prioritize your needs, you’re not only improving your own emotional state, you’re also setting a healthy example for the people around you.

Allyson Luna